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Question of the Week



What's Your Excuse for Not Attending Synagogue?


Question:

Rabbi, do you know why I don't go to synagogue? I used to go, but I started to notice that in my synagogue, the rich people get more noticed and average people like me are overlooked. So I stopped going. If you need to be wealthy to be respected, I want no part of it. Am I right or wrong?

Answer:

You are the third person this week to explain to me why they don't go to synagogue. This happens to me all the time. At almost every function I attend, a wedding, kid's birthday party or communal gathering, someone comes up to me and says, "Rabbi, do you know why I don't go to synagogue...."

They feel the need to share with me their particular Jewish gripe I have never asked anyone why they don't go to synagogue. I don't even know these people. And yet they feel the need to share with me their particular Jewish gripe, either about the unfriendly rabbi or the arrogant cantor, the grandfather who forced them to pray or the G‑d who didn't answer their prayers.

It's funny, I don't feel the need to justify to my dentist why I never go to him, or the local gym why they never see me. And yet when people see a rabbi they are overcome with an urge to explain their absence from synagogue.

Mind you, the people who do attend synagogue don't seem to have a good reason why they come. Even someone who has not been to synagogue in years can rock up to a service, and without any justification for their sudden appearance, they walk in, take a prayer book and sit down as if they always belonged there.

Because they do belong there.I am here because I am Jewish, and going to synagogue is Jewish A Jew needs no reason to be in synagogue. There is no explanation necessary. Most of the time, they themselves don't know why they started coming to synagogue. And so they offer no rationalization. You only need a reason not to go to synagogue. But to go, no reason is required. I am here because I am Jewish, and going to synagogue is Jewish.

This is why I love hearing those alibis people present for not being in synagogue. A Jew needs a reason not to connect to Judaism. Some may have pretty good reasons, like yours. But they are reasons nonetheless. A Jew needs no reason to connect to Judaism. It is who we are.

If you don't like your synagogue, find another one. Until you do, all the justifications in the world won't change the fact that you're a Jew, and a Jew wants to be Jewish.

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By Aron Moss   More articles...  |   RSS Listing of Newest Articles by this Author
Rabbi Aron Moss teaches Kabbalah, Talmud and practical Judaism in Sydney, Australia and is a frequent contributor to Chabad.org.

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Reader Comments
Latest Comments:
Posted: Sep 7, 2010
Look at social dynamics
There are certain people who demand to be noticed and their reward for going to synagogue is extra attention from the rabbi. They are like the sheep who demand all the attention from the shepherd.

There are others who go to schul because they like to baa with the other sheep. They like their place. Some go for their peer group, ie: moms find a connection with other moms, the elderly have their pals, different groups have connections.

Birds of a feather like to flock together.

If you cannot find a schul that has enough of your kind, just go once a month. Let the rabbi know that you want to have a peer group, as in people your age or stage of life or dare I say not wealthy, and hopefully he can keep an eye out. Maybe he will meet some people who drop by and tell them to come back to meet you and call you and have you meet.

(I don't go because 15 yrs ago I ticked off the rabbi's person who welcomes people in: she has made my life complicated regarding anything social.)
Posted By Anonymous

Posted: Sep 7, 2010
why i don't like going to synagogue
Number one: If you are unhappy, then go somewhere else. i agree with that - especially in the NY area where there are many alternatives. Number two: you've got to set an example for your children and other peoples children, for that matter. My grown sons are very aware of my husband and my participation and hopefully, that will make a difference in their own lives later on.
Posted By forced to be anonymous

Posted: Sep 7, 2010
Going to Shul
Why I do not go, is because I have no funds for a ticket. I do not agree that we have to pay for a ticket when we can't afford it. Let the rich people go and pray for me.

It makes me mad.....
Posted By Anonymous, Toronto, Ontario



 

   
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